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Irish Traffic Accident.

Posted: Thu 14 Dec 2017 9:21 pm
by tingtang
A farmer named Paddy had a traffic accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.


In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor;
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was
drivin' down da road.... '

The solicitor interrupted again and said,'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her.
After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said,
'How are you feelin'?
'Now, wot da fock would you say?'

Re: Irish Traffic Accident.

Posted: Fri 15 Dec 2017 9:12 am
by katecornwell
Keep them coming - so lovely to have a laugh with good humour!

Re: Irish Traffic Accident.

Posted: Fri 15 Dec 2017 9:24 am
by Navek
A small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in Ireland.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far
and expect that number to climb,
as digging continues into the evening.

Re: Irish Traffic Accident.

Posted: Fri 15 Dec 2017 9:27 am
by Navek
A blonde and her husband are sleeping
when the neighbour's dog starts barks and wakes them up.
The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says
'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!'
She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face.
The husband asks 'So, what did you do?'
The blonde says
'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard
to see how they like it having...


the neighbour's dog barking all night.'