A Touch Of The Irish.

Have a laugh...but keep it clean.

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tingtang
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A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by tingtang »

I do wonder why this Board is so poorly supported.
Make time to give us a smile.

There was a power failure in a Dublin Department Store last week and three hundred people were stranded on the escalators for more than two hours.



“O’Leary, your glass is empty, will you be having another one?”

And what would I be doing with two empty glasses?” O’Leary replied.



Young Teresa came home with some dreadful news. “I’m pregnant” she cries.

“And how do you know it’s yours?” shouts her father.



PADDY: “Hey Shaun, what’s Mick’s surname?”

SHAUN: “Mick who?”



*PADDY: “If you can guess how many Pheasants I’ve got in me bag you can have both of them”.*

*SHAUN: “Three.” *



Mrs Murphy said: I don’t tink me husband has been faithful to me”.

“Why’s that?” said Mrs O’Toole.

“Me last child don’t look anything like him”.



Mrs O’Toole said:

“I can only tell you this bit of scandal once, because I promised Mrs O’Leary I would never repeat it”



Shaun and Molly sat up all night, on their honeymoon, waiting for their conjugal relations to arrive.



Murphy had a rope hanging from a tree in his garden. Shamus asked him what it was for.

“It’s me weather guide” said Murphy, “If it’s swinging back and forth, it’s windy and if it’s wet, it’s been raining.



Murphy was told by the Doctor he had two weeks to live,

so, he chose the last week in July and the first week in August.



Colleen dropped a Euro coin, intending it to fall into the blind man’s hat on the pavement, but missed.

As quick as a flash he scooped it up and put it in the hat.

“You’re not blind” she said. “No, I’m not” said Paddy,

“It’s Murphy whose blind, I’m just filling in for him while he’s gone to the pictures”



“We’re looking for a Treasurer for the Xmas fund”, said Paddy

“Didn’t you take on a new one last month?” said Murphy

“That’s the one we’re looking for”, Paddy replied.



Father O’Flaherty asked Mrs O’Reilly how many children she had. Four was the reply.

“That’s a good Catholic woman you are, and when will you be having the next? He asked.

“I’m not Father”, she replied. “I read that every fifth child born in the world is Chinese”.



The Dublin pensioners club go on a mystery tour every Wednesday

and to make it interesting they have a sweep to guess where they are going.

Shamus, the coach driver, has won five weeks on the trot.



“Mrs O’Leary” said the Doctor, “Do you smoke after intercourse?”

“I never look”, she replied.



Paddy went to the Doc with two burnt ears. “What happened”, said the Doc.

“I was ironing when the phone went,” he said.

“How about the other one?” Said the Doc.

“I had to dial you for an appointment, didn’t I, said Paddy.

tt.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Rosehillgirl
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by Rosehillgirl »

Ha Ha. Well it gave me a laugh-I do like a bit of silliness. I'm from an Irish family too!!

ardstrawray
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by ardstrawray »

Little sad really, when all you can do is tell stupid racist jokes to liven up the forum.

Ragged Robin
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by Ragged Robin »

A little more than sad that the forum needs jokes to liven it up. The reason is unfortunatey obvious if you read the thread about free speech.

Is a joke racist if it is told by a member of the race concerned? After all Dave Allen told the best Irish jokes and Maureen Lipman the best Jewish ones.

My favourite Cypriot joke (told by a Cypriot) is how many Cypriots does it take the change a light bulb. Ten,, one tohold the bulb and the others to argue about which way he should turn it.

Now would you like me to tell some Yorkshire jokes, I think not, I will now go back into hibernation!

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frontalman
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by frontalman »

I grew up in Kilburn in London which had a huge Irish population at the time. They had a great propensity to laugh at themselves, and a great sense of humour. I don't think any of my old Irish mates would find these jokes offensive, nor do I. Mind you, I've heard most of them before.

tingtang
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by tingtang »

Little sad really, when all you can do is tell stupid racist jokes to liven up the forum.
ardstrawray


I happen to be of Irish descent and, unlike prissy politically correct English, we do have the ability to laugh at ourselves.

It would not surprise me if you were behind that story today that England football supporters must not wear their England shirts when they go to Pubs for fear of upsetting other races! When you are able to clear the streets of Burkas, head scarfs, Sikh turbans etc we might begin to accept equal treatment, meantime we need to retain our sense of humour in this stupid PC climate and it would do you no harm to lighten up rather than bellyache over a bit of fun.

All the best,
tt.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

artic monkey
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by artic monkey »

ardstrawray wrote:Little sad really, when all you can do is tell stupid racist jokes to liven up the forum.

I`m not sure when the politically correct metropolis of Ardstraw designated itself Irish and decided to take offence at harmless jokes,perhaps they have re-drawn the (invisible) border in that corner of Tyrone and it is now part of Donegal,i doubt it though.Carry on with the mirth tingtang,from a Belfast man where i can assure you the humour is a bit blacker,oops!,is it ok to say that?.
Some spread happiness wherever they go,others,whenever they go.

Mowgli597
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by Mowgli597 »

Why are Irish jokes so simple?

So’s the English can understand them

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frontalman
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Re: A Touch Of The Irish.

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Post by frontalman »

Carry on Tingtang, for one moment I thought your job might be in jeopardy, boom-boom!

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