RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Soner »

Please refrain from personal attacks on the Kibkom Forum. I have noticed a few threads on the forum heading the wrong way. Be Polite. Rudeness will not be tolerated. You may challenge others' points of view and opinions, but do so respectfully and thoughtfully without insult and personal attack. Attacks on businesses and the TRNC government are also unacceptable; it's bad enough that the TRNC is an internationally unrecognised state.

By joining the forum you have agreed to abide by the rules.

Any member being intentionally unpleasant or disruptive will be banned without warning.
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Art »

Hi Soner,

What do you define as being a personal attack.?

At the moment there is a thread concerning the water issue in Esentepe in which the mayor has been singled out as being responsible.

Would you deem this as being a personal attack given the postings so far are factual?

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Steve C »

Well said Soner, totally agree!! Steve

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Soner »

Art, totally understand the frustration of members in that area. But venting out anger on forum will not help them, actual action needs to be taken. Using the forum to find out who has problems in the area would be more productive, then arranging to get together to confront issue as a group may get problems resolved. As for singling out mayor to me is not a problem, as it may be factual, but some of the comments I think are borderline and not helping the situation.
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Art »

Ok and thanks.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by The Banshee »

Sadly this posting is way, way behind the game. I and many of my friends no longer post to the forum due to the 'Wilki kids' and those that insist on patronising and 'putting down' any view other than their own. I have raised the subject with my friends and most agree that 'Cyprus 44' and 'The North Cyprus Bulletin Board' both died because of those reasons. Very difficult for the moderators but sadly some people have such sad lives that they feel the only way they can get their 'kicks' is to 'have a go' at anyone with a different view to them. Sadly in discussions about this forum everyone knew exactly who the culprits are !!!

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by tomsteel »

Soner wrote:Art, totally understand the frustration of members in that area. But venting out anger on forum will not help them, actual action needs to be taken. Using the forum to find out who has problems in the area would be more productive, then arranging to get together to confront issue as a group may get problems resolved. As for singling out mayor to me is not a problem, as it may be factual, but some of the comments I think are borderline and not helping the situation.
Soner, I would suspect I am in your firing line on this issue. However, after ten years of being treated as a 3rd class citizen, with no legal or judicial redress against discriminatory treatment because I cannot vote and am a foreigner, how else do you suggest I and other expats inform each other of the problems we face if your forum cannot be used for this purpose? Even legal appeal to the Ombudsman on the extortionate water infrastructure charge produced no help. If posts are factually correct, can they not be posted, even if that brings a business, local official or TRNC Governmental official into the highlight.

Steve C, I can only assume you do not live in Esentepe and are not, therefore, subject to moronic decisions impacting on expat s and poor TC's living in outlying areas?

Art, we are d'accord here - ! Love to M.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Soner »

Tomsteel, I am suggesting that members use the forum productively, simply venting your anger will get one nowhere. I totally understand the frustration of foreigners and TC's undergo living in the TRNC, but much has improved over the years and many have had to put up with and deal with the problems of living in an unrecognised state, and still do. You are not alone, or delibarately being picked on.

The Banshee, moderators and I have been trying our best to steer away from problems that C44 had. We can not do it alone; there is a "report" link on all posts for members to report to us any issues of concern to any of our members, we will act appropriately.
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Soner »

Just banned a member. Can't understand why someone with so much hate for the entire TC population would remain in the TRNC.
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Chriswright03 »

Having not been on here very long I was wondering if it was the heat that was making 'some' on here argumentative and objectionable but then having been on a number of forums over the years I know it is part of the life. I have found people to be very helpful when I have asked a question but I am saddened when I see people who just reply to have a snide dig or argue the toss.

So well said and I hope that some adopt the age old principle if you haven't got anything nice to say then say nothing!

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by tomsteel »

Chriswright03 wrote:Having not been on here very long I was wondering if it was the heat that was making 'some' on here argumentative and objectionable but then having been on a number of forums over the years I know it is part of the life. I have found people to be very helpful when I have asked a question but I am saddened when I see people who just reply to have a snide dig or argue the toss.

So well said and I hope that some adopt the age old principle if you haven't got anything nice to say then say nothing!
Whilst not a snide dig or arguing the toss, what other medium is there for people to raise concerns about their ill-treatment in the TRNC or do you advocate HISS and say nothing and accept the inequalities? I love living in the TRNC and have some really good TC friends I have known for nearly 20 years. However, having been subject to 10 years of a developer, five advocates and legal rip-off by the judicial authorities, plus water rip-off charges, as many others have too, you will forgive our scepticism of your view, as " ----- not been on here very long---". I mean you no offence, but some of us take life seriously, even if it upsets those in authority.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Steve C »

Tom Steele - You are correct in that I do not live in Esentepe however I have not had it all my own way in the 13 years that i have lived in the t.r.n.c. I do not see any benefit though in posting negative things related to the Government or system here. If I had been that upset by it all I would have done the sensible thing and gone back to the UK. End of subject!

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Confused »

I can understand what you are trying to achieve Soner..........However as aliens here we have very few ways of warning those who follow us of the pit falls we fell into many years ago (12 years in my case). People have to be aware how risky the property market is in the "TRNC". I have posted many times on behalf of the Medview victims who are being ripped off by an "upstanding citizen" of said Republic. If I can't warn people here, are we just to leave it and allow many others to lose their life savings?

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by tomsteel »

Steve C wrote:Tom Steele - You are correct in that I do not live in Esentepe however I have not had it all my own way in the 13 years that i have lived in the t.r.n.c. I do not see any benefit though in posting negative things related to the Government or system here. If I had been that upset by it all I would have done the sensible thing and gone back to the UK. End of subject!
Whilst accepting many posters will have far worse and others better experiences than me, I reiterate my point how can others in similar circumstances gather other views if not on forums such as this and to inform prospective expat purchasers of the problems here? Many posters have no UK (or other country bolt holes if non-UK citizens) to go back to. The TRNC is, warts and all, my home but I maintain a right to criticise where appropriate. You are, of course, able to keep to your 'End of subject' point of view.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by WotNoDeeds »

Insults and personal attacks are never acceptable in any circumstances on an open forum. I understand that Soner is in a difficult position in as much as Kibkom is his business and he would obviously not want negative postings to upset his advertisers. However, if a member has had bad service or a legitimate dispute with a Company that advertises on Kibkom then, surely if their facts are correct, they should have the freedom to post their concerns/grievances . Similarly with the TRNC government. As long as a posting isn't libellous of factually incorrect, then why should it be censored or the member banned? As tomsteel says "what other medium is there for people to raise concerns" (especially ex-pats).

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Chriswright03 »

tomsteel wrote:
Chriswright03 wrote:Having not been on here very long I was wondering if it was the heat that was making 'some' on here argumentative and objectionable but then having been on a number of forums over the years I know it is part of the life. I have found people to be very helpful when I have asked a question but I am saddened when I see people who just reply to have a snide dig or argue the toss.

So well said and I hope that some adopt the age old principle if you haven't got anything nice to say then say nothing!
Whilst not a snide dig or arguing the toss, what other medium is there for people to raise concerns about their ill-treatment in the TRNC or do you advocate HISS and say nothing and accept the inequalities? I love living in the TRNC and have some really good TC friends I have known for nearly 20 years. However, having been subject to 10 years of a developer, five advocates and legal rip-off by the judicial authorities, plus water rip-off charges, as many others have too, you will forgive our scepticism of your view, as " ----- not been on here very long---". I mean you no offence, but some of us take life seriously, even if it upsets those in authority.

I was thinking more about the digs at people who post on here. Like the digs at people who have 'maybe' inadvertently posted in the wrong section or missed something out of the post that may have assisted others to assist them. Rather than just a gentle nudge in the right direction it appears to be more of informing them how stupid they are for not doing it right in the first place. There isn't (thankfully) a lot of it but in my short time on here I have seen it and just think it can deter others from posting for fear of ridicule.

I do not think for a moment that I was criticising those who have had rough treatment from others as in your case and if it comes across as that than I would apologise as that was not my intention. I think the forum is the ideal place for raising concerns about problems as it is possible that one may find others in the same boat who can help. I take life seriously but I don't think there is a reason for people to be rude or argumentative in replying. Note I am not saying you have nor having a snide reply or arguing the toss.

I used to have the following im my signature on forums and think I may again.

"This is my opinion and my opinion alone. Other opinions are available".

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Soner »

Thanks Chriswright03, you have hit the nail on the head.

Whatnodeeds, there are other ways of informing/warning members of bad experiences members may have had in the TRNC: create a thread with a subtle heading then ask members to PM you for further info. What use is there totally attacking a company, person or Government within the TRNC, if it all goes wrong, is it not pointless, a waste of time and money to take the legal route. Why would you put yourself or anyone else in that situation, simply because your are unhappy and feel cheated.

We all have our problems on the island, I once was so angry I promised not to return for at least 10 years, and I did exactly that, but returned knowing that many things I did not like, I could not change. I have been cheated by developers on numerous occassions but blame myself for not being more careful. Unfortunately, even if I had been warned, I am the type of person that would still learn the hard way.

Finally, if this forum did not exist, then what would you do? How would you warn others of any pitfalls within the TRNC? So, why would you put this forum at risk by not using it in a clever and productive way?
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by PoshinDevon »

I also understand the frustrations of some on the forum who have had bad experiences or worse here in the TRNC.

Yes the forum is a place to have your say whether that be positive or negative, however if it is more than a bad restaurant experience or the like and more of a serious problem re deeds, water supply etc then I do feel it’s better to start a thread asking if anyone else has had a similar experience and then getting together and forming some sort of acrion group. Highlighting on the forum is all well and good but collective action by like minded and affected individuals has to be a better way forward.

The TRNC is far from perfect for sure. For those who really do feel strongly about the injustices in place I would ask why not leave, back to your native country or start again on another country. Appreciate that this is not an option for some but for others it is.

I can remember when we considering buying a property here and we searched on the old Cyprus44 Forum for advice and guidance. WOW..... within a short space of time the amount of negative comments were almost overwhelming. Fortunately having lived, worked and holidayed on the island since 1970 we were not put off. I even posted thanking those that had made comments...... then asked for feedback from those who had bought and had a good experience. Again despite this request to try and get a balanced understanding the negative comments flowed in......fortunately a few did PM us giving us great advice and also positive feedback.
We decided to buy and the rest is history.

The TRNC is far from perfect for sure, has many frustrations but it still holds a special place in our hearts despite the challenges.
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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by DieHard »

Soner I would also suggest foul language be moderated. I politely asked Groucho not to use the word t***, he said it was Keith and what other language offended a precious me. There is no need to get a point across with bad language, twit would have been a more appropriate word.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Keithcaley »

DieHard wrote:Soner I would also suggest foul language be moderated. I politely asked Groucho not to use the word t***, he said it was Keith and what other language offended a precious me. There is no need to get a point across with bad language, twit would have been a more appropriate word.
Soner, this is ridiculous!

I used the word 'Twat' meaning 'an obnoxious or stupid person' to describe a GC immigration official.

Diehard is objecting to its use because it can also be used as a slang word for 'Vagina' - although quite why he or she thinks that I would be calling the person 'a vagina' escapes me.

I can assure him or her that if I did want to call someone a vagina, then I would use the word vagina.

Of course, this might upset him or her as well, as I'm not sure whether it's the use of slang or the supposed reference to the sexual organ, or even the possibility that such a thing as a vagina might exist, which is the issue.

It also raises the question of whether all other words which have a similar alternative definition should also be proscribed... should we not be allowed to use words such as Muff, Snatch, Gash, Slit, Pussy, Taco, Kitty, Box, Bush, Rosebud - and so on, almost ad infinitum, just because someone with a dirty mind chooses to interpret their use in that way?

In a lighter vein, I would draw your attention to a new BBC programme, detailing fragments of conversation between women, which Aunty BBC has decided to entitle 'Snatches' - when tackled about the likelihood of this being taken as a 'double entendre', a spokesperson admitted that they viewed the possibility with 'Wry Amusement'.

I will, as always, abide by your decision.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Reyntj »

Its all to do with the hot weather..

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Mr Chinnery »

I once called someone Niggardly, you should have seen the look I got, they threatened to report me to the Police.
Still there are some who just cant wait to feel offended these days.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by jackvern »

My word Mr Caley you certainly have some words for the female genetalia. Some of which even I with my modest upbringing have never heard. It's true what you say however It's other people's perception of the written word.We all use the English language to express ourselves in different ways and over the years words take on a variance of meaning. For example A knob in olden days was a person of importance or stature today some people would express horror. To use the word gay In Yonder years had a totally different meaning. Gay blade for example. Now what intrigues me is what other names do you have for male genetalia that can be mis interpreted. Perhaps not, what do you think.
You made me laugh however and caused no offence. A minority of narrow minded people however see things in a different light. Sooner this is English humour at its best.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Mr Chinnery »

What fascinates me is that a problem word in print is acceptable if the first and last letters are shown with asterisks in between, Yet if the full word is shown there is an outcry as it is an offensive word. To read the sentence where the blanked out word is used the brain fills in the blanks anyway.
So the offended person fills in the blanks, it equates in the brain to read the sentence but it’s not offensive, but if the full
word is shown that same person finds it offensive. How does that work?

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Keithcaley »

jackvern, I did do some research (not just to gather material, but also to determine whether my use of the contested word was generally deemed to be socially acceptable or not) and I was astounded at the hundreds of words - most of them in common usage - which can be used either singly or in combination as a pejorative term for this part of the body.

I think that words often need to be taken in context, and that calling someone a Twat (Obnoxious or Stupid person) is demonstrably different from telling them to "Stick it up their ****"

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Mr Mac »

Have the SNOWFLAKES arrived??????

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Mr Chinnery »

The Snowflakes arrived some years ago, what is disconcerting that it appears a lot of the older generation are turning into Snowflakes as well.
Especially since the advent of social media as its now the fashion to be easily offended.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by rocking »

Totally agree with Keith, it is howthe word is perceived. I am old and a south Londoner and use words that proberbly people find strange but there it is.

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by silverfox1 »

IMHO I believe that the use of words such as t##t is derogatory if directed towards another member on a public forum.
I think Soner should employ a Yellow and Red card system.
A yellow card should be awarded if a poster uses derogatory language towards another poster and that card should show next to the user's name on the board and they should be banned for a week.
A subsequent yellow should lead to a Red and a three month ban.

Maybe this would cut out the Cyprus44 syndrome!

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Keithcaley »

silverfox1 wrote:IMHO I believe that the use of words such as t##t is derogatory if directed towards another member on a public forum.
I think Soner should employ a Yellow and Red card system.
A yellow card should be awarded if a poster uses derogatory language towards another poster and that card should show next to the user's name on the board and they should be banned for a week.
A subsequent yellow should lead to a Red and a three month ban.

Maybe this would cut out the Cyprus44 syndrome!
silverfox1,

It appears to me that you are prepared to condone derogatory language towards another poster to the extent that you think that a 'first offence' should be punished only by a one week ban, whereas Soner - in msg1 of this thread - states that "Any member being intentionally unpleasant or disruptive will be banned without warning."

Do you think that Soner is being too harsh?

I have to admit that I have offended - I once called someone 'A Moron' (He started by saying 'I know nothing about this, but...." and then proceeded to launch a totally uninformed attack on a local business) and I called someone else a 'daft auld bat' when (s)he accused me of posting something that I didn't.

I think that, on balance, it is probably best left to the judgement of Soner and the Moderators - I wouldn't have their job for all the tea in China!

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by Groucho »

Reyntj wrote:Its all to do with the hot weather..
What - a sweaty vagina?

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Post by waddo »

I am offended! I don't know why but it seems to be a requirement.

There is a difference between being offensive and the use of your own normal style of humour to people you do not know! Some offensive humour is the defence mechanism of the under confident user, some is just the normal language that is used in the users background and some is deliberate and used as an attack - but most is simple misunderstanding between the user and the receiver.

All those who have offended me will find a PM in their message box. All those who have not yet offended me are free to do so by sending me a PM. I am ex military and difficult to offend because I have spent my life working with and for some of the most offensive people in existence, please keep this in mind when sending your offensive PM's.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone - or so it is said! It is better to look for humour in life than to be constantly on the alert, in case you may have felt offended by anything!

I wish you all well/ill, have a great/poor life - please cross out those words which do not apply!!!
Make happy those who are near and those who are far will come!

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Post by Keithcaley »

waddo wrote:...I wish you all well/ill, have a great/poor life - please cross out those words which do not apply!!!
Grrrr.....

Now I've gone and got Biro marks on my screen as well as Tippex!

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Post by sophie »

I'm tired of telling you Keith, use a pencil so you can rub out the offending words as and when. Its a lot cheaper than Tippex and not so harsh on your screen. I do it all the time, works perfectly. Whatever you do though, never ever use a white board marker, it plays havoc.

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Post by Groucho »

sophie wrote:I'm tired of telling you Keith, use a pencil so you can rub out the offending words as and when. Its a lot cheaper than Tippex and not so harsh on your screen. I do it all the time, works perfectly. Whatever you do though, never ever use a white board marker, it plays havoc.
Top tip ... to get rid of permanent marker inadvertently used on a whiteboard use a non-permanent marker as a solvent and rub them both off - if that language is not too foul - it works a treat....

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Re: RE: Personal attacks on the forum

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Post by eyebob94 »

Honestly, why don`t you people get a LIFE!

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