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Whilst there the wife passed away. The Jewish Undertaker told the husband that he could have the body shipped home for $5000 or we can bury her here in the Holy Land for only $150.
The husband thought about it very briefly before deciding he would like his wife shipped home.
Why would you spend $5000 when you could have her buried here for just $150? asked the Undertaker.
The husband responded ' Well, long time ago a man died here, was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead and I just can't take that chance'!
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman face a firing squad. The Englishman is first and stares up at the mountains and says "oh my Goodness, an avalanche" , everyone looks up and he runs away. The Scotman in his turn looks left and shouts "the river is flooding " and runs away. Not to be outdone, the Irishman stares straight ahead and shouts "Fire"